The five men suspected of plotting a massive terror attack at RAF Fairford have been released on bail. Authorities insist they are taking the matter seriously and refuse to accept this is all very weird.
They told confused reporters that if they have concerns, they're happy to take them in a helicopter ride above the base. Don't worry, it's fine to fly through restricted airspace and film stealth bombers during the highest security alert-as long as you tell the public how dangerous Iran is.
Conspiracy theorists are questioning why terror suspects with three vans full of explosives are being set free. But they're not considering that it's perfectly normal when the terrorists are working on behalf of Israel. Ed Miliband assures us that the suspects have been safely returned to Mossad and he will take the strongest possible measures against Iran.
It's understood that part of the reason for the suspects' release was their cooperative behaviour. In the early hours of Sunday, they drove around in circles for hours to draw as much attention to their vans as possible. They then blocked off a road and patiently waited for someone to stumble across them. When they were discovered by a nosy farmer, they politely waited in the woods for police to arrive.
As you can see, this was all extremely helpful. Terrorists who actually wanted to succeed would've launched drones from tens of miles away, but these terrorists were super nice. This explains why police were so calm about the whole thing.
For example, they completely ignored the farmer when she told them she saw between eight and ten people. Officers insisted that catching five was enough. They had come under criticism for failing to evacuate nearby homes for nearly six hours. However, a spokesman explained they were concerned about the optics of Israelis driving people out of their homes again.
I would like to praise both the police and the base for the calm and professional way they handled this situation. They even tipped off the press in advance. World Source News reported that the Pentagon had intelligence of a threat at Fairford a whole two hours before the incident took place.
This helped reassure the public-false flags are much less scary when you know they're coming. The situation was so controlled that nobody bothered to answer when people called the emergency line. It seems some people didn't realise Fairford was only on pretend security alert.
Just remember the next time a major incident is taking place that Israel is probably behind that one too. This means nothing bad is likely to happen. I'm confident that Israel wouldn't harm civilians to get its way, but we should probably behave ourselves, just to be safe.
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